Texas Insider

Mostly tongue-in-cheek & in holiday festivity
By Stephen Raines, Texas Insider TV Political Analyst

From the Desk of Santa Claus:

Proving Texas Insider finds information about Texas politics no one else has, Santa provided us with items on the wish list for several politicians.   President Barack Obama - Passage of any health care bill.  Just one victory besides the unearned Nobel Peace Prize would be nice for the year. 

U.S. Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison - A message for why she should be governor that resonates with Texas Republican primary voters, some magical maneuvers to get credit for killing President Obama’s health care and climate change bills, and a time machine to take her back to vote against the TARP government bailout of Wall Street, more money for the campaign and a national championship for her beloved Longhorn football team.

U.S. Senator John Cornyn - Same magical maneuvers as KBH, Democrats approval ratings nationally to continue to drop, great Republican candidates for US Senate across the country, and more money for his role as chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

US Congressman Pete Sessions - Same as Cornyn except change Senate for Congressional candidates and his role as chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee.

Governor Rick Perry - Continued growth of his lead in the polls, the quick arrival of primary day, more money and endorsements for the campaign, and improvement for his beloved Aggie football team.

Debra Medina - A seat at the table for the Republican gubernatorial debates in order to strengthen her chance to play spoiler.

Houston Mayor Bill White - A withdrawal from the last Democrat in his way to the nomination for governor, lots of campaign money, but all he really wants is Governor Perry for his opponent in the general election.  Democrats like their chances against Perry rather than KBH.

Farouk Shami - A new campaign staff, heightened vanity of hair care product users so the company stock will soar, since he’s promising to drop $10 million in the next two months into the campaign, and a miracle that Texas Democrat primary voters will choose a guy named Farouk Shami over the great White hope.

Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst - A long happy marriage with his bride Trish, and a state senator that desires and shows the rare skills to chair the new Senate Select Committee on Redistricting.

Attorney General Greg Abbott - The resignation of KBH, the appointment of Dewhurst to the US Senate, and the State Republican Executive Committee selection of Abbott as the nominee for Lieutenant Governor.

Comptroller Susan Combs - Her predecessor to file for comptroller so Combs can claim credit for officially ending the political career of Democrat- turned- Republican- turned- independent- maybe-turned- Democrat again Carole Keeton-McClellan-Rylander-Strayhorn with a victory in November.

Carole Strayhorn - A short memory for Texas Democrat, independent and Republican voters about her fickle nature in choice of political parties.

Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson - The ad says it all. DWM seeking a companion/opponent.  Patterson wishes Strayhorn or Kinky would challenge him.

Ag Commissioner Todd Staples - Kinky to win the Democrat primary. Hank Gilbert might actually know something about agriculture. Kinky knows murder mysteries, animal rescues and music.  Who wouldn’t want to debate Kinky if nothing other than for fun?

Kinky Friedman - Increased book sales from entrance into the rural book market.  Does Kinky really want to win?  Would you give up touring with the Texas Jewboys and writing murder mysteries to hand out grants to farmers and ranchers?

Hank Gilbert - Some official somewhere to declare Kinky ineligible to serve as Ag Commissioner and remove him from the ballot.

Railroad Commission Chairman Victor Carrillo - Good health and a quick recovery.

Santa faces a bit of a dilemma since several politicians had the same request for a limited edition item.

Railroad Commissioners Michael Williams & Elizabeth Ames Jones, State Senator Florence Shapiro, Dallas Mayor Tom Leppert, former Secretary of State Roger Williams & former Comptroller John Sharp – All asked for the resignation of KBH and appointment to the US Senate.

Speaker Joe Straus - No list to Santa since Straus is Jewish.

Former solicitor general Ted Cruz - The same list as Abbott with one addition, the selection of Ted Cruz to replace Abbott on the ballot for AG.

Texas Republican Party & campaign donors – For either KBH or Perry to back down to the other thus saving the party and donors some money for the fall, and for peace, love, harmony and mostly forgiveness after the primary.

Texas Democratic Party - A message that moves voters (same request since 1998) and any statewide elected Democrat (this is actually on the Texas Democratic Party Holiday List at http://www.txdemocrats.org/contribute/).

Texas Voters - A respectful campaign season that focuses on real issues not personal attacks, and the end of the economic down turn with a return to prosperity and work.

 Merry Christmas & Happiest of New Years!